Thursday, January 18, 2007

A Memory of My Mother

I can't remember if I told this story on this blog before, but I will do it again cause it is so like my mother.

I was single and living by myself in Las Vegas several years ago and eating out nearly every day. That guy on "Supersize Me" had nothing on me. Anyway, my mom caught wind of the situation and was apparently appalled. She couldn't bear to think that her little boy was eating junk food for every meal. So what did she do. She drove to Las Vegas and took me to a supermarket and we bought a bunch of fruits and vegetables.

I was so humiliated. A grown man in a grocery store with his mommy. I have such a great mom.

Friday, January 05, 2007

A List from the Holidays

The following is a list of holiday happenings here in WilkeWorld. Enjoy.

1. My niece, Dora, and little Touchdown asked my nephew, Marty, what color the orange sign was. He replied that it was orange. They informed him that he was wrong. The real color of the sign was "Selma". At 3, he was mightily confused and much crying ensued. Dora and Touchdown still insist it was "Selma".

2. My mother recieved a digital camera and a memory card for Christmas from us, her children. Upon seeing the memory card she asked my sister, "What is this? The film?" Welcome to the 21st Century, Mom.

3. My niece, Dora, recieved Baby Alive from Santa and it proceeded to poop and pee all day long. There was much crying when she discovered that a baby was a lot of work and not at all like it said on the commercials. I remember that feeling.

4. The Wizard, my brother, Jedora, my brother-in-law, Bernie (I think that name is funny so I'll use it here) and I all lost our hearing when we went to the shooting range and fired off a series of rounds using an assault rifle called an M-4 (or an AR-15). Yeah, the King is now more than equipped to defend his kingdom.

5. The King didn't blog and I'm very sorry.

6. The King and the Queen got Howard Jones tickets for Christmas. The 80s rock!!

7. The King went undefeated at Canasta and winless at Acquire.

8. Lil Indy can destroy Christmas in a heartbeat.

9. The Court Jester (AKA the Brother-in-Law) took my Father-in-Law to the Rose Bowl. Kudos to him. I, too, like football by the way.

10. The New Year was rung in with a big kiss for the Queen. (BTW-Marty, my little nephew, was quite distraught when he got no toast at midnight. He was told there would be toast at midnight and all he got was sparkling cider.)