Thursday, December 29, 2005

A Note on Stinkiness

"Life's no fun, everything stinks, and I can't go shopping!"

These are the words of the Wife this morning as she points at the monstrous zits erupting on her face. Let me illuminate you all on the situation here at the castle.

The teenager left to go see her dad the day after Christmas and won't be back until New Year's Day. This always puts the wife into a funk of sorts. Now, she normally would combat this loneliness and overwhelming despair by going on a shopping spree, but the fact that we just finished the Christmas shopping extravaganza and we are now broke has left the Wife with little therapy options.

Add to all of this the normal girl hormonal crapola and the absolute confusion of Touchdown (who is going through Christmas withdrawal) and we have quite a conundrum here at the castle.

To wit, Touchdown has tried to start the advent calendars again in hopes that in twenty five more days, Santa will appear with more gifts. In addition to this, she has been heard singing the "Ho, ho, ho, Valentine" song at the top of her lungs for ridiculously long stretches. Apparently Santa will be making a trip down the chimney on Valentine's Day in her mind.

So, with all of this confusion and ruckus here at the castle, I am tempted to go for a nice long hike, but, alas, the weather has turned bitterly cold and forced us all to hole up here in the castle. Happy, happy, joy, joy!!!!!

I hope all of you have a happy new year! It can't get here soon enough.


Blogger The Wife said...

I hope you make some good sales this weekend King, because this one is going to cost you a trip to the mall.

7:06 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

Ugh. It sounds like the perfect therapy for The Wife would include a day long retreat to the nearest, poshiest spa, where she can relax and get her nails and hair done, a facial and a massage.

7:15 AM  
Anonymous Jana said...

Hahaha love the adventures in your "castle".

I surfed on here from your post at Question of the Day. Nice blog!

7:20 AM  
Anonymous The Wizard of WilkeWorld said...

I don't know who to feel sorry for, I happen to know that the King has been invited to a play station contest that starts at 4:30 p.m. today, and I know that the wife controls the castle, and shopping can occur at anytime, My heart is with touchdown, she is on to a good thing, thinking that if she starts the advent calendar over the same result should occur. My real feelings are with the teenager, she is torn between the love of her father and the new family of the King and the Wife. That is such an ackward situation to be in. The teenager handles it with such maturity, and I admire her for it. Some times we don't fully understand what is going on in their lives and we take for granted that things are going well. The wife has done a marvelous job with the teenager and she (the teenager) is such a wonderful big sister. As you can tell I think the world of her, and here's hoping that things are going well for her........

7:39 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

What are the words...hummmm..."This too will pass." Sit Touchdown in a chair and explain to her that Santa only comes once a year. Give the wife a crisp $50.00 bill and let her out the door. She can buy her Christmas cards and wrapping paper for next year and store it in the garage with the other stuff. Come on King, it will keep you sane and the wife happy. I shopped at Wal Mart yesterday and found some good bargains. BTW: I love Pistachios. I got some in my stocking too. Now, Let's eat them all up before the new year and start our diet off on the right foot.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Ms. Momma said...

I think you should treat Wife to a nice dinner or at least order in. I always feel extra special when Hubby does that for no reason and I get a day off of cooking. Glad your holidays went well. (That $50.00 suggestion is also a good one) ;-)

2:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the fact that valentine stuff has arrived int he stores already isn't going to help you.

I wanna go shopping too... :(

2:37 PM  
Anonymous brianna said...

It is the worst when you are havinga bad day and on top of that CAN'T go shopping. I feel for her!

10:57 PM  
Anonymous The Wizard of Wilkeworld said...

To all residents of WilkeWorld, The King was like the Pied Piper yesterday as he led a group of grandchildren (5-6) Geo-caching. The King is known far a wide for his participation in this, and the nephews and nieces all expect him to come through, He did not disappoint them. My hat is off to the King, Long live the King, Long live the King......

4:35 AM  
Anonymous The Wizard of WilkeWorld said...

Now the Queen is something else. She would not accept an invitation for dinner, she had other things to do. (Clean a Bathroom) It is quite revealing as to the personality of the Queen. All the other families came and ate dinner and played Charades. It is very disheartening to come in second place to cleaning of a bathroom. King beware, wife is a little out of the loop.......

4:40 AM  
Blogger The Wife said...

Sorry Wizard, must have clean house when teenager comes home on Sunday so we can play with her all day Monday.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Hey Wizard, Please don't be too upset with the Queen. She misses her girl and she wants everything to be perfect when she gets back. I'll bet she has been to all the other family gatherings. Cut her some slack.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

two words: "CABIN FEVER".

Now, more than two words: It happens every year at about this time. The sugar high lets off, the weather gets worse, and we are stuck with each other 24-7. That's cabin fever. As lusy said this two will pass. I was going to suggest getting out, but the wizard indicates that you have alrady done that (i.e., geocaching).

11:33 PM  
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