Sunday, June 26, 2005

A Note on Dementia

"May I take your order?"

"Yes, I'd like the shrimp scampi and a coke."

"And for you, Ma'am?"

"I guess I'll have the sirloin. Medium well. Oh, and an iced tea."

"Great. Will that be everything?" I expected to hear perhaps that they'd like an appetizer or a side salad. I was not prepared for their answer.

"Judy hasn't ordered."

"Judy?" I thought maybe they were waiting for another friend that was running late. After all, there were clearly just the two of them, but they began to chatter as if Judy was right there.

"Judy wants the steak and lobster," intoned the middle aged gal sitting to my left.

Not wanting to be rude to the empty chair where Judy apparently sat, I asked matter-of-factly, "How would Judy like that done?" Great, I was facilitating the dementia by playing along. Mind you, I kept looking for the cameras and that annoying Allen Funt.

Judy apparently told her two cohorts that she would like it done medium, so I took the order and my confusion to the chef. We debated the situation vigorously in the back and everyone scoped out the "wackos", but we decided that the customer is always right. So loaded up with three plates and another table setting, I presented the offering. Shrimp scampi for the gal on the right, sirloin steak for the older gal on the left and the steak and lobster (at $21.95) for my new friend, Judy.

Judy, surprisingly, never ate even a bite of her food, so I kindly offered Judy a doggie bag. No, came the response. She just wasn't hungry. Whoa! You mean to tell me an imaginary friend is going to order steak and lobster and just not eat a bite and not take it home. If it was my imaginary friend, I would have demanded that she give me a few bites.

I presented the bill. The older gal plopped down the cash and the two (three) of them cruised right on out of there. They even tipped pretty good.

I bussed the table and was tempted to eat the steak and lobster, but maybe Judy got her germs all over them. I decided just to dump it all. Safer, really.


Blogger RC said...

I don't think I woulda ate the lobster either, but before careful if they sell crabs, because my big brother caught crabs when he ate at Red Lobster when he went out on a date, so I guess he didn't chew them good enough.

Hi, Michele sent me!

I hope you are having a nice weekend!

7:21 AM  
Blogger Carmi said...

Good call on not eating it. I've got this thing about eating leftovers. I just don't. You simply never know.

Michele sent me. I like your blog more every time I read an entry.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous colleen said...

HA! Is this a true story?!

10:31 AM  
Blogger K Jones said...

Embellished but true.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i wouldn't have even considered eating it, judy can be trusted, it's her friends you have to watch out for.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

Oh my - they say it takes all kinds to make the world and you seem to have had 3 kinds of "them" right there! *still laughing* I wonder how they manage when the 3 of them visit the hairdresser's?

2:02 PM  
Blogger ~Cathy~ said...

I kept thinking Judy was eventually going to show up... LOL :)

7:15 PM  
Anonymous Grandpa Jones said...

I don't believe enough respect is given to the more mature of our society. What seems to be a little bit off to some of you seems to be very normal to me. If they wanted to have a third guest at their table, what is the problem. I read your blog about your little niece that had an imaginary friend, then why does it bring out comments of "Dementia" when a member of our society that is somewhat older would like to have a friend join them for dinner. Don't discriminate K You will be their soon and it will make good sense to you at that time.

3:38 AM  
Blogger PractiGal said...

That Judy... can't take her anywhere! Oh right, they didn't!

As for eating other people's leftovers - yuck. Though on a train ride with my then 7-mo pregnant sister, she dashed to the dining car to find something to put her queasiness at bay. Dining cart was closed & they were clearing off the tables. My sis grabbed a roll off one of the tables. Ick!

4:25 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

That's funny ... and here is my moment of dementia. I read this yesterday and swear I commented. Maybe Judy took my comment?????

8:16 AM  
Anonymous john cowart said...

Good choice out of your list of possible posts. Looking forward to the next one.

It takes all kinds to make the world... well, maybe it doesn't take all kinds, but there are all kinds.

8:52 AM  
Blogger poopie said...

I wouldn't have eaten it either...Judy might've put a curse on it!

1:54 PM  
Anonymous MissMeliss said...

I wouldn't have eaten it either, but...yeah...I'd have been tempted.

4:04 PM  
Anonymous Terri said...

lol Fantastic story, and I must complement you on how well you handled it! (Especially on not eating the leftovers--if they are so far gone, or so lonely, that they are making people up, I'd be concerned about paranoia and possible traces of poison you might find in that food! ;) Seriously, it does happen.) I probably would've gotten myself fired that night, because I'm pretty unsympathetic to that promoting delusions really fair, even to the one that is having them??

Then again, as long as the non-transparent guests paid the full bill, it's the $$$ that counts for the business! ;)

9:10 PM  

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