Thursday, March 24, 2005

A Note on Dress Codes

I wish to carefully word the following entry so that I only offend those I mean to offend with my comments.

I am no Brad Pitt. Nor am I Harrison Ford. I am perhaps more like Dom DeLuise, so I am not commenting on personal fitness or natural looks in any way, but I want to boldly state, to all who will listen, the Dress Code rules of WilkeWorld.

Rule #1--If you are female and weigh over 200 lbs. you should not wear thong underwear that can be seen when you bend over. I realize that you may like it, but others should not be made to endure the sight.

Rule #2--If you are trying to be hip-hop and your pants actually fall to the ground leaving you in your bunhuggers, you should buy a good reliable belt. I know its the style, but if it just falls to the ground, style is out the window anyway.

Rule #3--Plumber-Bum is never a fashion statement no matter how attractive you are. I hate to mention this, but this is mostly addressed to the females.

Rule #4--Pregnancy is glorious and wonderful, but belly shirts and hiphuggers are never a good look for the condition.

Rule #5--If you wear what is called a wife-beater, it is likely that you will be treated as such.

Rule #6--If you are a 300 lb. man with a beer belly, please try to find a shirt that reaches over the belly.

Rule #7--Dress socks should never be the first option when wearing sandals.

Please feel free to comment should you see the need to add other rules. I hope there will be no exceptions.


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