Tuesday, October 11, 2005

A Note on Autumnal Festivities

To hush the grumpy old Wizard who is apparently miffed by my all-too-frequent potty training stories, and to satisfy the promptings of The Wife who has urged me to write on this topic for two days now, I offer up this observation.

The Corn Maze. I don't really get it. I paid 4 bucks (it was really 7 but I had a coupon) to enter in to the Staheli Farm Annual Corn Maze and Dust Bowl to find myself wandering aimlessly through a corn field. I might have been mad but I was too fascinated at my own gross dereliction to do much more than sigh and chuckle.

Now the Wife has always found the Corn Maze to be a genuinely stellar family activity. We dress up in our warm autumn gear. Here in Saint George, that means long pants and an actual shirt for most folks. For my wife, it means moon boots and snow pants. Needless to say, we were prepared for a blizzard if one should have blown through. Add to the joy of the evening, an infant of six months (Indy) and a child who is afraid of dogs and most other animals (Touchdown) and the Teenager who came straight from swimming and would have eaten a dog had one been offered, and you have the makings of a fun fest.

I did manage to eventually find the farm (a whole nother story) and we entered in to what was, well, just that, a farm. There were kids roping cow skulls and kids throwing straw into the air and kicking up dirt with there boots. Way on the far side, though, we spotted the tractor and the wagon that would take us to the Corn Maze.

The idea of a corn maze could I guess be fun (if you drank alcohol and you didn't have children) but for the Jones family it was an exercise in patience and forebearance. We gave the map to the Teenager and trusted in her judgment. Touchdown immediately made the comment of the day. She said, "Daddy, where are we going?"

That is, indeed, a great question. Well, in this corn maze the object was to get lost in the maze and then find your way out. So the answer to her question was...er...um...nowhere. "We are going into the corn and then back out of the corn. Aren't you having fun?"

"Yes, Daddy," she replied.

Kids are so gullible. I didn't have the guts to tell her that we were going to go around in circles until we got sick of it and walked out through the corn stalks like cheaters. Oh, and we may get ran over by drunkards. Happy Halloween.

Thankfully, the drunkard quotient was low on this night and we were quite safe. Well, I can't wait for next year when the Wife gets excited again to go out to the Corn Maze. I don't drink but I may just ask her for a fifth of whiskey and a gun. I would have a lot more fun.

This Halloween stuff puts me in a great mood. I shall post more vents in the future.


Blogger John Cowart said...

Thanks; I'd never heard of a corn maise before.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always thought about those mazes. I think I might pass now.

7:50 AM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i don't like those corn mazes, they kind of freak me out, but i do love corn on the cob!

1:53 PM  
Blogger Ms. Momma said...

LOL. Funny post. I am always terrible at the "trivia" clues they give you to try to help you find the right way. BTW-I have done illustrations before...I had a few published in a newspaper & have done some for my job as a teacher, as well as some logos & such...but I've never done a book before. If things develop, you could tell me your thoughts, I could do some sketches/preliminary drawings and you could decide whether you liked my style/ideas or not and if I captured what you imagined. If not, I could point you in the direction of other illustrators as well. Thanks for thinking of me.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Indigo said...

I don't get the corn maze either. I would do a shrub maze though.

Ah, you sound like you may be a grinch (like me) too? Are you?

p.s. Why not tell our wife about NaNo?

7:00 PM  
Blogger The Wife said...

It is all fun and games until one of the kids gets cold, and dad gets grumpy, oh wait, dad already is grumpy, so the kids might as well be warm. It is not their fault they are being raised by a father that does not have enough common sense not to wear shorts ALL winter long.


10:01 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

Nano nano, take me to your leader? :p Sorry Tom! I think I just told your wife about NaNoWriMo......

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't ever convince myself that it would be worth even $4 to go to one. I see it as being like a $1 or $2, but $4 is just way too much for me. I think I will stay in the world of the niave on these.

11:36 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

Tee hee. We did a corn maze on our first date. When I try to make it an annual tradition, my husband just laughs at me. I really enjoyed it! Wouldn't want to get lost in a maze with a little one though. No thanks. Crying, poopy diapers... No. Maybe when he's a little older!

4:58 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Typical Male! This is the difference between men and women. It sounds fun to me, but I know my husband and he would hate it. Don't be so grumpy, Touchdown was having fun. I think your wife just wanted to do a fun family activity......Come on K...

2:22 AM  
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