Sunday, May 15, 2005

A List of Personal Idiocy

As my wife will attest, I am just this side of idiocy most of the time. So to honor that idiocy, I offer up this list of personal disasters that attest to my idiocy.

1. At age 32, one day after getting engaged to my wonderful wife, I put my underwear on backwards. Not inside-out, backwards. Yeah, the confusion at the urinal was overwhelming.

2. I once elbowed a girl in the head on a first date while making "my move".

3. I am lucky not to spill on my shirt at least once a day.

4. I never check to see if there is toilet paper on the role.

5. I once ate 10 tangerines, because I thought that eating fruit would ease my diarrhea.

6. Every morning I do up my pants completely before I put on my shirt causing me to undo them.

7. I have gone to work with black pants, blue socks and black shoes.

8. I have fallen out of a moving bus.

9. While on my Mormon mission to Paraguay, I believed that the natives were giving me fruit punch spiked with Sprite when they were really giving me fruit punch spiked with vodka.

10. Forgot to take out the garbage last night and now my house stinks and my wife is looking at me with disgust.


Blogger Wendopolis said...

I laughed out loud several times while reading this! You must be related to my hubby--he spills stuff on his shirt, too. It's a given. Brave of you to put all that kooky stuff online!

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Grandpa Jones said...

You put new meaning to "air your dirty laundry in public". In most cases it is a figurtive statement, but you seem to have a literal translation to it. I believe this is a result of sleep deprivation, not because of the new born, but because of the time you spend on your blogs. You have several other items of idiocy that you could have included. But I will refrain from "Airing the dirty laundry in public" If you know what I mean.

3:56 AM  
Blogger Faye said...

*falls out of chair in laughter*

Ahhh those priceless moments. I'd write a list down too, except that I think my mind automatically suppresses the embarassing moments. I never remember them when I want to! Glad to hear that somebody does.

Thank you for making the world a happier place - at your expense. :)

2:19 PM  

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