Saturday, August 06, 2005

A List from the King

Before I post this list, I have to take care of some blogkeeping chores.

First and foremost, a big thanks goes out to Laurie Murray of the Alchera Project. Laurie posted a contest on her site about 2 months ago that encouraged members to write about a favorite charity and why it meant so much to the writer. I like Alchera, so I thought I would try my hand at writing something. I never imagined that I might win the contest but I did and the first prize was $50 donated to that charity. I picked the Brinkerhoff Humanitarian Fund and I am so pleased that Grandpa Jones and the good people that control the fund were so honored. If you want to read my entry, you can find it here. Thanks again, Laurie.

Along those same lines, the Alchera Project has a couple of new prompts up for this month. One of them involves making a list of things you would do if you were king of the world. Now the catch is that you must make the list a product of your own ego. So, in honor of the newly elected WilkeWorld cabinet, I feel I must submit my list of demands. So in a perfect WilkeWorld, it might look something like this:

1. Grandpa Jones could only comment on my blog if he beat me in Canasta.
2. There would be no coconut.
3. Doritos would grow on trees that line each and every road.
4. The Wife/Queen would nod in agreement each and every time I spoke.
5. The children of the king would have to bring the king the paper, orange juice, and slippers every morning.
6. People over the age of 70 must get approval from me to drive cars.
7. People under the age of 24 must get approval from the queen to use a cell phone.
8. All people must pass a stupidity test to have kids. (I am not sure how to score this test yet. I mean, who gets to have kids? The stupid ones? or the smart ones?)
9. Babysitting would be mandatory punishment for any and all crimes.
10. All music must have some music in it.
11. Recess would last just as long as classes.
12. Golf would be free.
13. Popcorn and sodas at the movie theaters would cost the same but entrance to the theater would be free if the movie stunk it up.
14. I could fly.
15. All school teachers would be required to pass an easy competency exam administered by me. Sample question: Write a sentence with a noun, a verb and an adjective.
16. Cops would all be named Roscoe P. Coltrane.
17. Dogs wouldn't poop.
18. Arizona would use daylight savings time just like the rest of the nation.
19. Buildings would have a thirteenth floor and there would be a continual party going on there.
20. WilkeWorlders would all be filthy rich.

21 Comments:

Blogger sophie said...

Reminds me of a *not Oscar quality* Mel Brooks movie where he says "It's good to be the king!"

Michele sent me.

9:21 PM  
Blogger PresentStorm said...

lmao those are great demands ...I am all about 6,7,and 8 ...Oh yeah and the cops named Roscoe P. Coltrane...That would be cool too ....

Here via Michele's :)

9:23 PM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

Oh I like the "all citizens of WilkeWorld would be rich" - that appeals right now!

3:02 AM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

Oh and as a teacher "Tom saw the small white golf ball fly as he played golf for free!" - ok?

3:04 AM  
Anonymous The Wizard of WilkeWorld said...

K....Grandpa Jones visited with me last night and regreted that you had placed the ban on his posting to your blog. He will abide with your decision and refrain from posting until he beats you in Canasta. He did want me to express to you his thankfulness for the $50 to the Brinkerhoff Humanitarian fund. Congrats, for winning the contest. I would add one more to your list. Fat People would be recognized as the most beautiful in the country, no more of these little lightweights controlling the interest of society. You must be 35 lbs over the scale of weight recommendation before you are allowed to go out in public......

4:01 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

I especially like #20! When are you going to be enforcing that? I need to be prepared.

6:59 AM  
Blogger kmsqrd said...

Keep dreaming about #4, and I think the rest of the nation should give up daylight savings time.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

no coconut, how are we going to make the pina coladas? does the kingdom have a speciality drink cuz it gets hot in the garden, and i'll need to be rehydrated. sometimes water does not do the trick.

11:28 AM  
Blogger ~Cathy~ said...

Here via Michelle's. Let us know when you figure out the answer to #8! :)

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:27 PM  
Blogger K Jones said...

I knew I would eventually get spam remarks, but all things considered, this wasn't that bad.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

is that anom remark spam? my daughter got a remark something like that on hers as well, isn't there something you can do to stop anom remarks? i need to look into this.

4:39 PM  
Anonymous brianna said...

I liked the list...although I'm thinking that there are a few crimes that I would not suggest babysitting as punishment. Yummy Doritos!

4:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neato like your blog. Added it to my bookmarks to check for updates.

I have a Pull Chain Ceiling Fan Switch site/blog. It pretty much covers Pull Chain Ceiling Fan Switch related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time.

5:07 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Boy, you are letting those teachers off easy. Couldn't we require a little more of them? Please!!!

10:08 PM  
Blogger Shaleen said...

Those two anon. spam comments were also on a few of my friends' sites. Glad I haven't gotten them...they're just so weird. ^_^ As for the name of the sea cow...I'm still looking for suggestions but I like "Pua O ke Kai" which is Hawaiian for flower of the sea. My main reasoning for this is the fact that most people most likely won't be able to pronounce it properly and it would probably look absolutely hilarious when they are trying to figure it out. But that's just me. ^_^ I'm still browsing though...

1:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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2:13 PM  
Blogger K Jones said...

I don't know, Shaleen, the idea of something that even I can't pronounce. But "Pua" does sound good. Keep searching.

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I really enjoy your posts. I'll bookmark your site.

I have a dog training site/blog. It pretty much covers dog training related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

2:54 PM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

"Anonymous said...
Hi, I really enjoy your posts. I'll bookmark your site.

I have a boring life/blog. It pretty much covers my boring life related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-) "

that's the best i can do for spam over here!
this anon seems to really like it over here, maybe you can assign him/her a royal duty?

3:17 PM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

How about a good solid Welsh name for the sea cow Mr Jones? Bwlch-yr-mor .... pronounciation advice - clear your throat and roll your r's!

10:22 PM  

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