A List of Things I Learned at the Reunion
I guess I had better post before Indigo loses it and thinks I've fallen into the deep end of the pool without a flotation device. I just returned from the First Annual Kay and Dorothy Jones Family Reunion and I have gleaned a great amount of knowledge and interesting facts that I am destined to share with the citizens of WilkeWorld without further ado.
1. Grandpa and Grandma Jones are smarter than I ever thought. In what was one of the most hotly contested games of travel Trivial Pursuit ever, the old couple managed to salvage a split against me. Now before the old man gets mad at me for distorting the truth, they absolutely took it to me in the second game. Grandma was guessing Little League World Series victors and Grandpa Jones had obviously made some kind of pact with the Devil cause he was coming up with answers he had never even heard of. There is an inquiry into the cards that were used as I am fairly sure there was foul play involved, but officially I am congratulating them on a wonderful if not tainted victory.
2. The Jones Familyites are notorious gluttons and the Reunion again proved that point. Breakfast was served between 9:30 and 10:30. A dainty meal of sausage, eggs, and pancakes. This was followed at 12:30 with BBQ pork and beef, potato chips of various hues and flavors, salads and, of course, desserts. The treats and cakes then made their appearances before we finished the evening with pizza, sno-cones, cotton candy, and more varied sweets and honey candies. So much for the diet.
3. My 9 1/2 month pregnant cousin is nuts. Her due date is today, and yesterday she tried like the dickens to go into labor. Yes, she jogged and swam all day hoping to jar that kid loose.
4. There is the 3rd Annual Ancient Perfumerie Festival to look forward to. Yes, that's right. On the way home today we saw a billboard announcing it. Yes, folks, apparently the people of Utah love their old colognes. Not only that, but two festivals have already been held and were successful enough to prompt another one.
5. Some guy in Preston, Idaho is selling rocks from his driveway for a $1 apiece and marketing them as "Rocks from Pedro's House". In what can only be considered opportunism to the extreme, some dude whose house was used in the movie "Napolean Dynamite" is, indeed, selling the river-worn rocks and writing the aforementioned words on them in permanent marker.
6. Touchdown hates dogs. Can't stand them. Well, she likes them in principle, but, in practice, she prefers if they were a hundred miles away. I have the fingernail marks in my neck to prove it.
7. Touchdown is quite adept at answering questions. On the drive home today, out of nowhere, she begins screaming. Not your typical run of the mill "I hate this carseat" kind of scream, but a blood curdling "I'm going to die soon" kind of scream. "OOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" I was petrified and responded with due concern. "Honey, what are you doing?" I blurted. With a calm and measured demeanor, she stopped and exclaimed, "I am saying, 'OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!'" Well okay then.
8. My wife is a saint. I love you, honey. You rock.
Now that I am back I will continue to harrass you all about the sea cows. I will have an extra $35 to adopt the sea cow shortly, but I need to know which one fits our needs the best. Again check it out and leave me a short note.
1. Grandpa and Grandma Jones are smarter than I ever thought. In what was one of the most hotly contested games of travel Trivial Pursuit ever, the old couple managed to salvage a split against me. Now before the old man gets mad at me for distorting the truth, they absolutely took it to me in the second game. Grandma was guessing Little League World Series victors and Grandpa Jones had obviously made some kind of pact with the Devil cause he was coming up with answers he had never even heard of. There is an inquiry into the cards that were used as I am fairly sure there was foul play involved, but officially I am congratulating them on a wonderful if not tainted victory.
2. The Jones Familyites are notorious gluttons and the Reunion again proved that point. Breakfast was served between 9:30 and 10:30. A dainty meal of sausage, eggs, and pancakes. This was followed at 12:30 with BBQ pork and beef, potato chips of various hues and flavors, salads and, of course, desserts. The treats and cakes then made their appearances before we finished the evening with pizza, sno-cones, cotton candy, and more varied sweets and honey candies. So much for the diet.
3. My 9 1/2 month pregnant cousin is nuts. Her due date is today, and yesterday she tried like the dickens to go into labor. Yes, she jogged and swam all day hoping to jar that kid loose.
4. There is the 3rd Annual Ancient Perfumerie Festival to look forward to. Yes, that's right. On the way home today we saw a billboard announcing it. Yes, folks, apparently the people of Utah love their old colognes. Not only that, but two festivals have already been held and were successful enough to prompt another one.
5. Some guy in Preston, Idaho is selling rocks from his driveway for a $1 apiece and marketing them as "Rocks from Pedro's House". In what can only be considered opportunism to the extreme, some dude whose house was used in the movie "Napolean Dynamite" is, indeed, selling the river-worn rocks and writing the aforementioned words on them in permanent marker.
6. Touchdown hates dogs. Can't stand them. Well, she likes them in principle, but, in practice, she prefers if they were a hundred miles away. I have the fingernail marks in my neck to prove it.
7. Touchdown is quite adept at answering questions. On the drive home today, out of nowhere, she begins screaming. Not your typical run of the mill "I hate this carseat" kind of scream, but a blood curdling "I'm going to die soon" kind of scream. "OOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" I was petrified and responded with due concern. "Honey, what are you doing?" I blurted. With a calm and measured demeanor, she stopped and exclaimed, "I am saying, 'OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!'" Well okay then.
8. My wife is a saint. I love you, honey. You rock.
Now that I am back I will continue to harrass you all about the sea cows. I will have an extra $35 to adopt the sea cow shortly, but I need to know which one fits our needs the best. Again check it out and leave me a short note.
posted by Cool Dad at Sunday, July 24, 2005
9 Comments:
All great; but #7 tops the list. Smart Kid you've got there.
:-) Hey, I was concerned, and my toddler brain forgot that you were going on hiatus.
Gosh, Touchdown is so cute! That's something my kid would probably come up with, and it would drive me insane, but seeing as it's your kid saying it .... well, that's just hilarious.
Are you just reading the TP questions and keeping score, or are you actualy moving little TP pieces around on a travel board?
SEA COW CHOICES:
I like Elaine and Howie.
Elaine is described as a mischief-maker, and Howie tipped the researchers canoe with the researches in it. They both sound like my kinda sea cows!
K.....your report was better than I expected. Trivial Pursuit is fun, we just read the entire card to one contestant, he/she has the opportunity to answer each question, and we keep total points, the winner is the one with the most points. We say that the game is going to go from St. George to Beaver, and who ever is ahead at Beaver is the winner. Then we set another destination, like from Beaver to Fillmore and so on. It is amazing how fast time flies when you are playing this game. The new version is so difficult, it was hard to score much, but if you listen to the questions, some times you can figure the question out. K....you did good at the reunion, thanks....
Well, you know I like Grandpa Jones. It's amazing that the older our parents get the smarter they become.
Sorry about the diet...I probably would have done the same thing.
How does Touchdown do with cats?
Glad you are back and had a great time.
Thanks Grandpa! That sounds pretty fun, we have a 5 hour trip coming up soon. Might have to nick your idea.
Ahem. How could you ever express an iota of doubt about Grandpa Jones' superior intellect? All of your readers know that he'd whup you at Trivial Pursuit. Please.
Signed,
A member of the Grandpa Jones Fan Club
My 8.9 month pregnant wife is doing everything in her power to explode too. I just hope it doesn't happen while I am at work.
I would have to say for the manatee to adopt. We should go for either Howie or Floyd.
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