A Note on Expired Diapers

That's right. Diapers have an expiration date. I don't know exactly why they have an expiration date, but they do. I guess if you keep diapers too long you're too tempted to have more babies? It's the government's way to curb population growth.

Oh, and lifejackets also have an expiration date, as do condoms. I don't know how the government factors into it however. I am still mulling this one over.

Here are a few things I would put an expiration date on if I were in charge of things.

1. Reality TV shows.
2. Oscar acceptance speeches.
3. Celebrity renderings of the National Anthem.
4. My wife's memory of my wrongdoings.
5. Women's perfume (I swear I smelled some mothballs the other day in the Walmart)
6. Driver's licenses (60 years ought to be plenty)
7. Barney the Purple Dinosaur
8. Paris Hilton
9. Computers
10. Gumballs from a Gumball Machine.