Friday, August 18, 2006

A Note of Explanation

Sorry for the extended break. The Wife and I travelled to Puerto Vallarta this week for a well-deserved break from our children and a 5-year anniversary and I forgot to keep you all updated on it. I shall have a full report in a day or so once I get caught up with everything around here. As for the little list I left with all of you, here are the all-important answers.

1. I attended my wedding reception in tennis shoes. (This one belongs to the Wizard) The story goes that he wasn't aware that when he rented the tuxedo the shoes were extra. Soooooooo, he decided tennis shoes were the next best option. My worst wedding blunder was probably that I couldn't figure out how to fasten the cufflinks on the shirt.

2. I was twice considered the best basketball player in my religion. (Once again, this belongs to the Wizard) The Mormon Church for many years during the 60's and 70's had an All-Church Basketball Tournament with the best teams meeting for the finals in Salt Lake City or Provo. Well, my father was a two-time MVP of that tournament.

3. I once spoke to a terrorist on the phone. (This one is all mine although my father did work as a counselor at a boys' home so who knows if any of them are terrorists) The story is that a close work friend of mine in Las Vegas met a man at a party and got married to him only to find out from the U.S. Marshals that he was a wanted terrorist known as an outfitter. Well, she found out about him and left him only to harassed by him over the years. He would often call the store where we worked and I would talk to him and try to *69 him. It worked once and we found out he was in Canada.

4. I once tried my hand at farming before realizing "I am not a farmer". (Once again the Wizard strikes) The story is one of great expectations and very little realizations. He does look good in a John Deere hat, though.

5. A group of scared pigs once broke my nose. (The Wizard once again) He was desperately trying to free the pigs from a burning barn when they pushed up against the barn door so violently that the door broke open in a way and clobbered the Wizard right in the nose.

6. I broke my right wrist three separate times. (That would be me) Once I fell off playground equipment. Once was a skateboarding incident. Once was a deadman's flip off the monkey bars in elementary school. They say its strong now.

7. I once appeared on Japanese television. (Me, again) As a salesman in Las Vegas, we often hosted Japanese tour groups in our store. Because I could speak Japanese just a little bit, I was often asked to assist the tour groups. Well, one day a travel show from Japan was featuring Las Vegas as a honeymoon destination and I was the token American salesman in the store.

8. I married out of my league. (Duh, both of us)

9. I once worked on the Yucca Mountain Nuclear Waste Dump. (That would be me again) I wonder sometimes if it somehow retarded my development, so I ask my wife and she just nods and avoids eye contact.

1o. I once punched a man on my Mormon mission. (Both the Wizard and I) I clocked a drunkard who tried to run over me in a jeep and the Wizard levelled one of his missionary companions for sneaking out in the middle of the night and dating some girls (against mission rules and a big no-no).

There you have it. I hope you had fun trying to figure it out. Details of the PV trip upcoming.


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Blogger Lucy Stern said...

When Bonnie was on her mission in SLC South, she had a whole district that got "canned" for sneaking out. Several were sent home, two of them got sent to different missions and Bonnie was the only survivor. It was unbelievable.

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1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am still sticking with my story that these all happened to both of you. This Pas de duex is not going to work on me.

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