Sunday, September 04, 2005

A Note on Gender Perfection

This month's prompts are now up and operating over at the Alchera Project and I have decided to tackle the free write option which is about the perfect man or woman. Well, since I wouldn't dare write about the perfect man which would seem too self-aggrandizing, I have decided to write a little essay about my dear wife, a woman whose perfection seems to know no bounds.

Seriously though, my wife has so many of the qualities that make a woman perfect in my mind that I would be remiss in not explicating them in this essay.

First and foremost, a perfect woman is, in fact, a woman with numerous imperfections. Ironically, the imperfections are what creates perfection. My wife doesn't have the perfect physical characteristics that the world esteems. She is not 5' 8", 110 lbs. with luxurious blond locks and, as far as I know, she hasn't been in any Sports Illustrated magazine photos, but she has a beautiful figure, dark tender eyes and a gruff sexy voice.

I am an analyst. I love to figure people out and what motivates them and I am very politically active and opinionated and I thought that I wanted that in my perfect woman, but my wife is none of those things. She is opinionated, but on none of the issues that interest me. She is an analyst but rarely makes judgments on those analyses. It used to drive me nuts, but now I find it endearing and it saves me from a lot of unneeded arguments.

A perfect woman is supportive but not subservient, opinionated but not oppressive, caring but not mothering, loving but not mushy. The Wife passes on all accounts. She is a spitfire and a hardnosed worker and her co-workers have been known to shrink in abject fear to her wrath, but with me she is a teddy bear.

The Spanish refer to spouses as medianaranjas or half-oranges saying that both partners must be of the same sweetness to be real partners. Well, I guess that we are both medianaranjas amargas or sour half-oranges. The Wife has somehow convinced my parents that she is a sweetie, but I fear that the Wizard will shed some light on that herewith.

The perfect woman can get out of the house looking like a million bucks in less than ten minutes when called to do so. The perfect woman looks just as good in sweats and a clippy as she does in a cocktail dress. The perfect woman burns the chicken on occasion and has been known to clip her toenails near the bed, but she always finds a way to put a smile on my face with a wink and a pout.

The perfect woman loves her daddy and is a little girl around him. The perfect woman defends her children with a quiet ferocity. The perfect woman is very forgiving of her supremely imperfect husband. She sees something worthy of her affection in the ugliest lump of coal and somehow makes a diamond of it. She is my soulmate, my partner, my lover, my friend, my eternal companion.

Now if I could just get her to make those brownies, tonight.....


Blogger panthergirl said...

This is a lovely post! Your wife is a very lucky woman to have a man who so clearly sees her as perfect.

10:29 AM  
Blogger sophie said...

What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman!
Michele sent me today.

10:47 AM  
Blogger -E said...

How nice and sweet.

Michele sent me.

11:12 AM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

it's funny, cuz even though i've never met you or your wife, i've kind of suspected quite a few of these things about your wife just from reading the little bits she has written. maybe you and your daughter could surprise her with some brownies, or at least rice krispie squares

2:23 PM  
Blogger Indigo said...

Awwww, that's sooooooooo sweet!!! Your wife is so lucky.

8:50 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

Ah...The stay at home dad has realized what a treasure he has. are blessed!

9:40 PM  
Blogger The Brother In Law said...

Well we called her the "Worm" while she was growing up, but my kids respectfully refer to her as "Auntie Wormy." Oh yeah, and you can hear the Benjamins screaming and see the tears running down her cheeks whenever she pulls money out of her wallet. She was also an almost perfect little sister until my wife ruined her.

10:54 PM  
Anonymous The Wizard of WilkeWorld said...

K, you are so easy to take advantage of in these blogs, you open the doors and I can't resist the urge to blog. For your readers, I must share this story. K, was having a hard time getting married. He would ask me about it from time to time and I would give him some great councel. After years of failed effort, we talked again. I finally said to him, "K...maybe you are looking for a 10 and you may only be a 5". (now before all you dear people bash me for being so insensitive) I wanted him to reflect on his situation a little more realistic. I can still hear what he replied to me. "Dad, everyone should want a 10 for a wife, and I do too." Little wife may laugh me right out of her house on my next visit, but she has indeed been a 10 for the King. From a mettling old grandfather, Thanks so much for being the type of person you are and we so enjoy coming to your home. The Bo Dereks of the world are alittle overrated, they have so many hangups that they are hard to live with..........

10:10 AM  

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