Tuesday, September 06, 2005

A Note on the Bet

The previous note notwithstanding, I feel compelled today to mention the bet. Yes, I know that the wife will be very displeased but I have to record the circumstances surrounding the bet for my posterity's sake. My wife thinks the bet is very disrespectful, but I am quite certain that it was providential in some sense.

As a single Mormon man, the threshhold for acceptability in my society ran out at about 26 years of age. Beyond that magical number single Mormon men are considered by many to be menaces to society. Let's be honest though, single men in general over the age of 26 need to be institutionalized for one reason or another.

Well, at age 32 and in the conundrum spoken of above, I found myself desperate to escape my menace status. I was still marginally social and I wasn't totally defunct of charms, so I was still active in the dating scene, but there just weren't any prospects that I felt were worthy of my attention and affection and as such, I didn't date much. How, you may ask, can someone be actively dating but not date very often. I don't know. I am uncertain of my answer to that question, but I still considered myself active despite my inactivity.

Back to the bet. In this state, I found myself a little bent out of shape when a close friend started dating and seemed sure to find marital bliss. I was discouraged, as was another friend of mine. Instead of miring in self-pity, I proposed a bet to my buddy. First guy to make out with a chick wins the bet. Now before I get roasted on this deal, let me explain the details of the bet.

First of all, the kiss could not occur on the first date. That was against the rules.

Second, the kiss had to be with a girl that we thought worthy of our affections. To prove our honorable intent, we had an independent judge (a woman who knew us both and considered us her little brothers). She would resolve any disputes and vouch for the pureness of our intent.

Lastly, the girl could not be aware of the bet at the time of the kiss.

The payoff was a rafting trip down the Colorado River.

I was determined to win, mostly to avoid the pain and monetary calamity associated with losing the bet. To avoid such a calamity, I employed the help of my friend Kaipo, who was a total womanizer before his marriage. I knew he would know tons of chicks. He did and he hooked me up with two hot chicks one weekend in Salt Lake City (I lived in Las Vegas). That weekend was Super Bowl Weekend and it was destined to be a life altering one.

I went on the first date on a Saturday night. Oh, I so could've kissed that chick but the rules would not have been satisfied cause I didn't really like her and the first date was off limits. The second date wasn't until Monday evening so I had Super Bowl Sunday free with no place to watch the Super Bowl. I had mysteriously placed a piece of paper containing my wife's phone number in my backpack just in case I needed a place to watch the Super Bowl. I did and so I called.

"Uhhh, sure, come on over, I guess," was the response when I called her up. She had no intention of watching the Super Bowl but condescended to do it when I called.

We had a marvelous date if you can call it that and we kind of hit it off, but no romantic involvement at that point. I couldn't risk losing the bet. I did go on the second date the following evening and thought I might have a shot at winning the bet there as well, but she wasn't nearly as interested.

Long story a bit shorter...the wife came to Vegas a couple of weeks later and I won the bet in the hallway of the World Trade Center Hotel and Casino, which was imploded a few months later just months before 9-11. Spooky, huh?

I won the bet. Still haven't got paid off as my friend is really cheap, but I got the prize in the end.


Anonymous colleen said...

Great story! With a woman referee and some ground rules, I think you're okay with this bet. Especially since you won.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

I love bets! Hubby & I bet all the time.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i wonder if your wife had a bet too?

5:22 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

If that had been me and I found out about the bet, you would have been dead meat...Did you tell the Queen about the bet before or after you married her?

Over the hill Morman YSA. Yes, my 27 year old daughter is going through the same thing right now. She almost got married when she was 20 but the stake pres. interviewed her and the next night (2 weeks before the wedding) she called it off. She said that she realized that she did not love him, for time and all eternity, and she couldn't marry him. I wish we had known that a week earlier before we sent out the invitations...She turned 21 a few months later and she left for her mission, BTW in Salt Lake City South, a few weeks after her birthday. For a while there she was gun shy and now she's 27 and still unmarried. She's too old for the younger guys and too young for the older ones. What's a girl to do? Hey, know any guys her age? Check out her blog by going to mine and clicking on Bonnies Travel Journal.

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