Tuesday, July 12, 2005

A Note on Palmolive

The other evening I walked in to see my wife soaking in the bathtub. I then realized that she had been in there a good long time. Like perhaps an hour and a half. She looked so relaxed as she calmly read her book, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." She hesitated to even acknowledge me when I entered as her repose was so tranquil.

Fast forward a few days. I found myself with a few extra minutes prior to going to bed and I felt like I needed to relax as well. A shower is relaxing, but I decided to give the old bath a go. After all, my wife loves the bath. I felt like Chandler on Friends, going where no man dares to go.

I turned the hot water on as hot as it would go and then slowly turned the cold water on just enough so I wouldn't burn myself. Oh, yeah. It was going to be heavenly.

Next decision. Bubbles or no bubbles? No one likes to see a fat guy naked, not even me, so I opted for bubbles. I stumbled around awkwardly trying to find a bubble making soap under the sink when I happened across some Palmolive. Score. I'd seen my wife use it once. It didn't kill her. I squeezed ambitiously and then squeezed once more just for effect and retired to the little boys' room while the bath was being drawn.

I exited to see the Great Wall of Bubbles. It was awesome.

I quickly jumped in and just sat there. I couldn't read, my hands were wet, so I just sat there. What do you women do in the bath? Just sit there? It was so boring.

Aha! I quickly rediscovered that bath bubbles make great beards. Oh, and if you swirl your hands really fast in a circle, its like a whirlpool. Then if you put the bubbles between your hands and clap, the bubbles go everywhere. I felt like I was about 6 years old as I blew the bubbles like the wind and watched them accumulate under the faucet. It was astounding. I had waterfalls and geysers and snowdrifts. All I really needed were the little green soldier guys and I would have had an all out war in there.

My wife walked in just after I vacated the area and drained the tub. "Oh, you took a bath, did you?"

"Yeah, it was real relaxing."

No need for her to know anything about it.

15 Comments:

Blogger Indigo said...

Are you keeping score Jones? Because I think I'm one up now.

I find baths extremely boring, especially when you are about 6" longer than the bath tub itself, so you have to keep your legs bent so you fit inside of it. And then, the water level sinks down through the emergency escape hole, so you can't even stay fully covered the entire time.

Hubby loves to take baths, and he'll read in there too. Not sure about the pamolive though, he might stop at that. I mean, why use pamolive when you've got perfectly fine sesame street grape scented bubbles?

8:48 PM  
Blogger K Jones said...

Hey, Indy, I comment on both of your blogs so I'm sure I've eclipsed you over and again. Oh, and I, too, don't really fit in the bathtub, which really bums me out at times.

8:56 PM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

I can actually sit down and relax now that "I think" all the puppies are born. I've been up since last night and I could use one of those bubble baths. It sounds so relaxing. I'm yawning already.

9:20 PM  
Blogger kmsqrd said...

Yeah, I don't get baths either. I can never figure out what to do with my brain and then the claustrophobia attacks.

Oh, and I'd never use Palmolive, but then I'm allergic to it.

9:59 PM  
Blogger Le laquet said...

We had a "bubbles in the sand tray" day yesterday in school - fabulicious!! I am however glad I wasn't taking children home because @ one point they were eating them ..... pretend ice-cream cones!!

10:48 PM  
Blogger Sparkling said...

What I do in the bath:
Read a book, exfoliate, shave my legs, and then I get bored.

1:43 AM  
Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i don't do baths, i prefer showers. what can i say about little boys and their bubble baths???????? do you have a sandbox for your daughter as yet;)

3:28 AM  
Blogger Anita said...

Ooh, I love baths - - but not bubbles - - they leave horrible rings on the tub which I then must clean. Of course, my boys love baths and bubbles and refuse to take a shower. So after cleaning the tub after all their baths, I'm not very motivated to get in the tub myself. So I've kind given up on them and soak in the outdoor hot tub instead.

3:49 AM  
Anonymous Grandpa Jones said...

I think I am too visual to take baths, I can't bring myself to sit in dirty water. In a shower you can see all of the soap and grime going right down the drain. In a bath, it just swirls around you all of the time, then when you get up to need to shower to get all of the grime off.

3:54 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

Jones, I'm going to double up on my comments now. Do I have to say the same thing twice? Or can I change my opinion/commentary the second time?

I agree with Grandpa, when you stand up after a bath, you have to shower anyways.

6:35 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

I take a bath for the relaxation of the hot water; then I shower. I read while I am in the tub. If you plan ahead, you can dry off your hands and pick up a book. I have also taken a small TV into the bathroom; but I tend to fall asleep in the tub if I do that. I have a blow-up bath pillow, so I can scoot way down in the tub and soak.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Faye said...

Mmm. The best thing about a bubble bath is the bubbles. Oh yeah. A bath without bubbles is just sick and wrong.

There is a downside to taking hot baths in tropical weather though. The last time I took a bath, I came out of it sweating for the next 2 hours. That was 3 years ago. I haven't dared to take another one since. Plus, the dorms don't have tubs...

5:13 PM  
Anonymous MissMeliss said...

I keep a hand towel on the corner of the tub, so that I can play with the bubbles (I live for bubbles) and then dry my hands and read a while.

I once lived in an apartment that had TWO shower stalls but ZERO bathtubs - it was sheer torture.

Reading this entry was a bubble of delight.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Renee Wagemans said...

I can see the whole picture LOL
but then I am a woman...

4:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, after the soap bubbles start to die down I crank up the cd player and sing like a rock star -
ok, so it's usually Carole King or Eva Cassidy and sometimes Trisha Yearwood... but I sing and no one is allowed to laugh outside the door!!!
silvers mom

6:12 PM  

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